?

Log in

LiveJournal for ______.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 10 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 10 entries.

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

Time:4:24 pm.
i'm an emotional wreck and it's all because of you. no matter how much i drink, or smoke, or do anything to interfere with my normal thinking pattern, it always leads me to you. i wish i could erase the memories i have with you- throw them in a locksafe box and toss it out to sea. let my memories float down to them depths of the ocean- as long as there away from me. i put myself through more then i should. i invite people to have you around, just so i sit and sulk about what i had and how i lost it. i let you slip through my fingers, unknowingly at first and then it smacked me hard in the face when it was too late to turn it around. i hate what you do to me and how you know you do it. i feel like my only option is to dead anything and everything that reminds me of you- the people, the places, the entire thing. just leave it behind and act like it never happened. but i know i can't do that. you've affect me too much- changed me into the new person i am; the person i hate. it's amazing what december to march did to me. i just want to give it all back. find the receipt and exchange everything for the simplicity i had before you. i feel bad for who ever meets me in the future. i'm too much to handle and come with no instructions. and the one person who understood the way my head works, takes pleasure out of knowing i mean nothing to him.

i mean nothing to him and he still means everything to me.

months later and nothing has changed but the lies that i keep inside.
we both know how to bury them.
the ones you gave me just eat me a live.
i feel like i'll never be the person i used to be.
i'm a lost cause with a broken heart from someone who never loved her in the first place.

it's amazing the way the world works.
it disgusts me more then i could ever explain.
hopefully i could use this to look back and push myself forward.

but the life i see infront of me, if nothing to hold my breath for.

i'm trapped in my own emotions.
[1] tonight if you're awake at all.

Friday, January 2nd, 2009

Time:5:41 pm.
new years resolution:

get control of my life.
tonight if you're awake at all.

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

Time:2:41 pm.
"It's not that Scorpios are pessimistic, necessarily - they're just attracted to the darker side of most things."

way too true.
tonight if you're awake at all.

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

Time:4:31 pm.
omgsh im so busy now its crazy but i love it. i just started school again. ugh, i'm a junior now can you believeee it? it's kind of scary. two more years then helllooo real world. eek. but i'm taking 15 credits all on tues/thur schedule again. it sucksss. my week goes as followed: monday (had off this monday cuz of labor day and got to see my beautiful godson and friends. i think this was the first labor day where i actually didnt work. yay haha)work at hofstra from 10 to 6 and then work at old navy from 6 to 1030. tuesdayy african novel from 9:35 to 11:00 then art history from 11:10 to 12:35 then creative writing from 12:45 to 2:10 then work at hofstra from 2:30 until 8:00 and thennn stars and galaxies from 8:10 to 10pm! sheesh! then wed work at hofstra from 10- 6 then old navy 6-10:30 thurrr! = african novel from 9:35 to 11:00 then art history from 11:10 to 12:35 then creative writing from 12:45 to 2:10 then film from 3:50 till 7:50 (yay lunch break inbetween them) then stars and galaxies from 8:10 to 10pm. then this friday i'm going to see KEVIN DEVINE / MATT PRYOR <3 in the city. but i work from 10-4. and i'm starting this new raw vegan diet. anddd i just got a raise at my hofstra jobb. october is going to be crazyyyy. i have so much stuff planned (LIKE VISITING ANDREW AT NEW PALTZ!<3) but yeah. i'm busy, to say the least.
[1] tonight if you're awake at all.

Sunday, November 6th, 2005

Time:7:45 pm.
Leave me an ANONYMOUS comment with:
_an insult
_a secret
_a criticism
_a crush
_a compliment
_a death threat
_a love note
_a song
_a picture
_anything else you want.
[10] tonight if you're awake at all.

Wednesday, August 31st, 2005

Subject:Mine are easy.
Time:1:05 pm.
Step 1: Get your playlist together, put it on random, and play.
Step 2: Write down the first line from the first 20 songs that play.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from.
Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly.


1. "You and me, you know that we"
2. "God bless the day light"
3. "I'm dying tomorrow"
4. "Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit lonely"
5. "It was labor day weekend, I was 17"
6. "Drink down the gin and kerosene"
7. " Summertime, summertime brought me back to thinking you were mine all those times. "
8. "Girl, where's your head full of lead?"
9. "Rest in peace girl, your death is such a shame"
10. "Tonight is a story of love"
11. "Let's call this the quiet city"
12. "The Atlantic was born today, and I'll tell you how"
13. "Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me do it in my van every Sunday"
14. "There are things that used to make me smile"
15. "Sooner or later more, these words to paper pour"
16. "Is it enough to believe that you are real"
17. "Can you sleep as the sound hits your ears"
18. "I've got these scars that I'm hiding"
19. "Looking in your eyes praising every moment because you're my only light"
20. "You've got some nerve, I never knew"
[8] tonight if you're awake at all.

Saturday, January 22nd, 2005

Time:6:56 pm.
I made a Quiz for you! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!
[3] tonight if you're awake at all.

Monday, January 3rd, 2005

Time:2:16 pm.
happy birthday john !!!
[2] tonight if you're awake at all.

Wednesday, September 8th, 2004

Time:6:04 pm.
if i update anymore it will be under friends only.
[3] tonight if you're awake at all.

Wednesday, September 1st, 2004

Time:9:37 pm.
it's a new school year, and i'm starting over.
i'm going to change back into my old self even if it kills me.

this is my last update for a while, or maybe even for good.
i'm not sure.
so maybe this is the end. just maybe.
i love you.

good-bye.
tonight if you're awake at all.

LiveJournal for ______.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 10 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 10 entries.